Dear customer shopping around 7:00 this evening,
You may think you are well read but loudly mocking other books/authors to your freakishly tall friend makes you a pretentious ass. You want me to help you find a book about the apocalypse? That’s fine, I’m here to help and have a few suggestions. Don’t look so surprised that multiple other people have asked the very same question. All of them did it with more tact and grace than you could ever possess. You’ve read “The Road”. Who hasn’t? It’s a goddamn movie now. While my coworker is looking for a post-apocalyptic novel for you in scifi, do not quiz me to see if I meet your version of “well read”. I don’t like to be quizzed. Yes, I have read David Foster Wallace. No, that question had nothing to do with the situation at hand. Yes, you are standing too close to me.
Next time you want help finding a book, understand we need help too. “The Apocalypse” is a broad topic. There are books in scifi, horror, general fiction, metaphysics, mystery, etc. Sometimes I will look up books online for nice customers. I do not want to google things for you when you glare at every suggestion I have made so far. Next time come in with a title. We’ll even order it for you. For now, just try googling “personal space”.
Sincerely,
Kelly
