Dear Stephen King and Dean Koontz,
I shelve the horror section at work and generally I like you two. Sure King is way better than Koontz, but you both write horror as opposed to the vampire lust fest that is Laurell K. Hamilton. I’ve read your books and have seen the movies, I couldn’t watch “Scrubs” when it first came out because Dr. Cox still scared the shit out of me from his stint in “Intensity”. I guess I’m trying to say I like what you do.
I even own some books. My mom is trying to get me all of the Stephen King books. She buys them at thrift stores and flea markets and the old school dust jackets are great. Since I own these books and I’m generally described as cheap, it’s safe to say other people own them too. Which mean you guys have money. With all of the movie deals you have loads of money. I believe “shit tons” is the technical term.
And now you’re greedy. You have both started re-releasing books. I’ve shelved the section for a little over a year. First came the 2010 edition of “Danse Macabre” by Stephen King. You had added a new forward. Okay, cool. I didn’t have any versions of the book, mass market ($7.99) or quality paperback ($14.99) so I happily put it on display and made sure one was on the shelf.
Then came “Cujo” for $4.99. It was a special price and of course it was printed on the spine, so I got to shelve two copies of the same book at different prices. People have enough trouble trying to determine if the content of the mass market and quality paperback is the same (hint: it is), why are you making it more difficult by having a cheaper mass market?
Then you pulled out another “new” book, King. I got a hardcover and quality paperback, set to “hit the shelves” on the same day. The book was “On Writing” and the cover was black and white. I already had this book on the shelf. It has a creepy picture of a cellar door surrounded by dirt and flowers. I own this book. You put out another version, so I checked to see if it was a “new” edition with a bullshit 2010 introduction. Nope. How about a 2010 epilogue, maybe a little info on what you’re up to right now. Nope.
It had a new cover. That’s it. What the fuck? Now I have three copies of the SAME BOOK taking up room on the small amount of space I have allotted for horror.
Koontz, don’t think you’re getting off easy. You are filling the shelves with “new” mass markets. We’ve got “Your Heart Belongs to Me” and “House of Thunder” in duplicate. “The Taking” is your newest. The book came out in 2004. Now I have it on the “new” mass market table and next to its “old” partner on the shelf because you felt the need to re-release it. AND to make matters worse you decided to not only change the cover art, but to make it in the large mass market size. These new books are slightly taller than the usual mass market books and $2 more expensive. Two dollars for a quarter inch of book. Your entire Frankenstein series is in tall mass market. I hate them.
Our shelves were made to fit the normal mass markets with ease. The tall ones fit, but don’t come off the shelf without a little effort. People have to tug at the spine to remove them from their place. The tugging pulls at the paper covering the spine. This paper rips. No one wants to spend $9.99 on a book with a torn cover, so we have damaged books we have to send back to the publisher. All because you two wanted more money on anniversary editions. You two (especially you, Stephen) write long books. Thick books. Tomes. Epics. You take up enough space on the shelves already. How about sticking with one style per book from now on.
And if you’re going to re-release something, write a new goddamn intro. It’s the least you can do.
Sincerely,
Kelly
