Dear James Patterson,
Many people have speculated that you use a fill in the blank rubric for your novels. That is when you aren’t having your “co-writer” do everything and slapping your name on the cover in a font double the size their name gets. I don’t have a huge problem with this, 17 books in three years? Why not! Quick paragraphs and chapters make people feel like they’ve accomplished something. Look at me! I read soooo fast! If these people want to read crap, I say let them.
What I’m thinking is we let book reviewers in on the process. I know the quotes on the back cover of your books aren’t written by people whose literary opinion I would ever take seriously. I’m impressed they have jobs to tell the truth, so I made a little cheat sheet using actual reviews from your novels, in case they ever get overwhelmed.
Multiple Choice Book Review: James Patterson
In his latest novel James Patterson pulls the reader in to a(n)
A) gritty
B) thrilling
C) dangerous world.
After a
A) brutal murder
B) harrowing kidnapping
C) heinous crime,
brave hero
A) Alex Cross
B) Lt. Lindsay Boxer
C) Maximum Ride
must use his/her
A) knowledge of the law
B) connection with the victim
C) unique tie to the crime
before the perpetrator strikes again. This novel is a
A) gripping medical thriller
B) fantastic legal battle
C) horrifyingly captivating mystery
from a
A) superb
B) talented
C) skillful
author. The ending
A) will shock everyone
B) you never saw coming will blow your mind
C) is full of enough twists to make your head spin.
A must read for
A) any Patterson-adrenaline junkie
B) all thriller lovers
C) anyone with a vocabulary under 100 words.
You’re welcome.
Sincerely,
Kelly
