Oh hello,
I didn’t see you there.
It’s been a while since I last wrote a letter, which probably means a lot of my readers are long gone. Sucks to be them, because I have all new hate to dispense to the lucky few who stuck around. I’m trying to hate on fewer customers since, well, let me be honest here, I have a feeling the owners of the company would frown upon the source of their profits being mocked mercilessly. Another bit of honesty: all I do is work and watch TV. And drive on construction filled roads, but the “you drive like an asshole” letters all start to sound the same after a while.
To get me to write more letters my husband has offered to take me on field trips to different places so I can meet more people to hate. Isn’t that sweet? We went to Chicago a while ago, but everyone was nice and I saw Vince Vaughn (shorter than I thought); I did have a terrible Cobb salad but I’m not sure there’s a letter in that. Until we go somewhere else I will do my best to hate locally.
I also hope to have a regular posting schedule. I know, right! Responsibility and what not, it’s crazy. You should be able to read new letters here every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday. Starting tomorrow you’ll be back to reading letters and laughing your ass off.
Sincerely,
Kelly
