Dear self,
I really didn’t think I would have to do this. Not ever. But right now I kind of hate you…me. Hmm, this is going to be difficult. I’ll have to treat you like someone else, some stupid stranger, just this once. It better only be once.
So you got pulled over. I know the excuses, it was dark, you were driving in a city you’ve never driven in before, you were tired. Excuses over? Good. Because you got pulled over and you got a ticket, which I can’t afford. You suck. What were you thinking? I know, I know, Detroit has a lot of one way streets and you had been turning left on red all day, but that is just more excuses. Excuses don’t pay $125 moving violation tickets, do they?
No, they don’t.
I thought you might need an answer to the rhetorical question because you have been making such stupid decisions lately. Moving on. You were driving and the road split, four lanes separated into two sets of two, one going in each direction. Then you came to a light, a red light. Red means stop by the way. You came to a stop, bravo, but you didn’t stay that way.
Leaning forward, you looked to the right, no traffic was coming. You looked left, up and right again, no “No turn on red” signs. A car came up behind you, really close in fact, and you thought they were waiting for you to turn. So you clicked on the turn signal and did just that. I would call it collapsing under peer pressure, but since the car behind you didn’t turn, you were just an idiot.
Another car, the one facing you at this odd intersection, pulled out into to road as well. And then turned on the lights on top of their car and pulled you over. Because he was a cop. Because you RAN A RED LIGHT! Usually when a driver gets pulled over for the first time in 8 years of driving, they can hope for leniency, but you knew you were getting a ticket. Because you ran a red light.
At least you didn’t cry. You get points for that. Unfortunately you also get points on your license, which will negate any not blubbering to the policeman points. Sigh. The rest of the drive home was unpleasant to say the least. Every flashing headlight on the highway made you jump. The no-turn-signal-using jerk who almost side swiped you at 75 mph set your heart racing for a good 10 miles.
Let’s not do this again, okay? You have a two and a half hour drive out of state tomorrow. I don’t want to deal with any more police. You’re lucky you finally put your registration in your car. That would have been terrible. Wake up and pay attention.
Sincerely,
Kelly
