Dear bachelor on Millionaire Matchmaker,
You were only on my TV for a few minutes, but that’s really all I needed. I hate most of the bachelors on Millionaire Matchmaker on principle. Oh, I make sooo much money and all the girls I meet are gold diggers and I don’t have time to find that special someone who is hot and younger than me and doesn’t want me for my money. Feel bad for me!
No.
But you were extra special, weren’t you? With your terrible facial hair you weren’t willing to part with and your publicity company you named after yourself. Clever. You did the normal “I work so hard so I don’t have time to meet women” bit. But I think the matchmaker hated you too. Her face is hard to read though, too much tanning and talking to young rich men, she always looks angry.
Then she asked you your “type” and you replied Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman. What? Did you just finish watching “The Other Boleyn Girl”? Those two look nothing alike. One is busty and blond, with huge lips and a dumb face. The other is cute and small, with a degree from Harvard. Maybe I’m playing favorites. But the matchmaker called you out on it too.
Once the two of you started talking about spray tanning I was out. Channel changed in record time. I hate both of you a little, but you win. I’ve seen the ending of this show before, you talk about the smart one and maybe kiss her. But it’s the huge boobs and the 10 year age difference that you go for. I hope she gets the yacht in the divorce.
Sincerely,
Kelly
