Dear jackass who ran into my mailbox,
At first I didn’t really care. I figured we could stand it back up again and stick the box on top and be good to go. Turns out mail boxes are more complicated than that. The main problem is that my husband doesn’t get home until after it’s dark out. Since the ground is frozen there is no way I can dig a new hole myself. Which means we haven’t gotten mail for 3 days now. So I’ve started to care. And you’ve started to be a jackass.
It’s cold out, but the roads weren’t slippery. I don’t think you slid into the pole. Judging by your tracks, you side swiped the pole and then as you tried to extricate yourself from the snow and muck on the shoulder you backed into the pole. It seems you did this rather quickly. Maybe your tires were spinning and then suddenly caught hold and you rocketed off the shoulder. But there is no way you didn’t feel the impact. And it doesn’t take a genius to match the numbers on the box to the number on the house directly across the street. So now I’m angry. But I still think I can fix things.
Unfortunately it turns out our mailbox pole was kinda cheap. The ones in the store have metal poles you hammer into the ground and then you shimmy the wooden pole over the metal. Our pole was about 8 inches into the ground, the wood was just thinner at the bottom and stuck into the dirt. It’s not your fault the pole was inappropriately made. But it is your fault that I know this. It’s your fault I have to go to the post office and pick up my mail. You better have a pole sized dent in your bumper to make up for this. The lawn looks naked without a mailbox on it and I hate being the neighbor with the crappy house. You made me into that person. And I hate you for it.
Sincerely,
Kelly
