Dear everyone,
So late last night while feeding my cat a marshmallow and reading page after page of Hyperbole and a Half, I decided I don’t really have anymore hate in me. Also, you guys suck for not making me famous. Last time I stopped writing for a while people were asking my husband “Why isn’t Kelly writing letters?” and saying things like “Those letters were hilarious, tell her to write more.”
WTF?
Tell me these thing, not him. Tell your friends my letters are awesome. Post comments on the blog instead of facebook. Send me situations where people make you angry and give me some fuel so I don’t to rehash letters to stupid customers. (No, you can’t have a handle bag for a 2” by 3” coin purse, I’m sorry there aren’t any bookstores where you live but that fact has nothing to do with getting a bag with handles. You’re a moron.)
Now I know what you’re thinking: Why would you feed marshmallows to a cat? It’s can’t be good for him and didn’t I hear you say he had a heart murmur once? Sugar can’t be good for a cat’s heart. Well he loves them and will chew through the bag to get them and it’s adorable. Then he abandons them and they are sticky and gross and maybe adhered to the blanket I’m snuggled in right now. But it’s worth it because it makes him happy.
Now do what I say and make me happy or post 50 will be the last.
Sincerely,
Kelly
